ikujinashi (ikujinashi) wrote in kanjani8,
ikujinashi
ikujinashi
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[FANFIC] Ryo/Kame ::: Ourselves.

Title: Ourselves
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Angst, Lust
Author: ikujinashi & unhistorical
Pairings: Mainly Kame/Ryo - several of others are mentioned
Summary: Takes place in a very dark future, 2009. Too much has happened and too little happens with too much angst for it to fit to this.
Warnings: Very dark. An alternative title for this was “Worst case scenario”… and that should be enough. The universe we’ve built up is… depressing. Don’t take it too seriously?


The sun was shining, birds were singing, the sky was blue with not a single cloud in sight and everything was just perfect... Or whatever.
Kamenashi Kazuya sighed as he sat down in the couch in the area between the sets of dressing rooms. He couldn't really care less about the weather today or any other day for that matter, tonight was the Countdown and they would have to be inside anyway. Not that it mattered, he had never been found of just walking around under the shining sun anyway, it was totally pointless. Well, wasn't it? Walk around, getting shined on by the sun and get warm and eventually sweat and get all gross because the damn sun was shining. It was enough that you got sweaty on stage, at least then you could take off your shirt and make girls scream their lungs out. You couldn't really do that while just walking around, well unless Nishikido Ryo. He does that at times. Kazuya smirked as the cocky Kanjani7 (Uchi had dropped out of training and the band had officially changed their name) member came to mind. Ryo did quite a lot of things that no one else would do, and granted most of them were just plain stupid and fucked up but a few of them were quite amusing and one thing every now and then was kind of smart. That didn't happen too often though.
Just as if life was some crappy soap opera from the states, the very Nishikido Ryo just got out of the dressing room and passed where Kazuya was sitting. As it looked like he didn't see KAT-TUN's (which really was KaT-TUN since Jin had quit a few years ago) front man, the younger one cleared his throat. Ignoring (or simply just seeing) Kamenashi Kazuya was not acceptable.
"Oi Nishiki-maiden, where're you goin'?," he asked and immediately made the other one stop dead in his tracks. Of course the nickname the younger one had used so many times would piss Ryo off - it always did but even so Kazuya kept using it, kept looking down at Ryo just because he could (yay for a centimetre or two!). Also, Kazuya didn't ask the older one the question because he was interested, because he wasn't - he rarely was. But he had to know, he had to know where Ryo would be if he wanted him or something. Yes think of that in a sexual way. If he wanted him, he simply had to know where Ryo was at. And while we're at it - the older one never said no. Never. He always tried to be in charge, he tried to rule how things were going but he couldn't - simply because he was no leader, while Kazuya was born with leader skills and thus always was in charge. In charge of KAT-TUN, in charge of his own career (pretty much), in charge of ConteD (new group with him, Koki, Ohkura, Kato (Shigeaki) and Yamapi) and definitely in charge of everything he possessed. Nishikido Ryo being one of those things.

Ryo should've known really. Should've known that it wasn't possible just to go for a walk when he was becoming restless without walking into the princess who was apparently quite certain that by now he deserved the title of Mistress of The World - or at the very least Queen of All Things. Of course, Ryo saw it as his own duty to knock the kid down a peg or two - never mind that he didn't usually manage to do much at all in that respect.
"Don't call me that," he snapped immediately, though of course he did say that every single time he was very ironically called a maiden by the princess himself. The fact that it never seemed to make any sort of difference to anything seemed to escape him - anyway, right now he was trying to be cool and defiant. Never mind (he seemed to think that a lot) that he tried to be cool and defiant most of the time and it didn't often work all too well. When had things changed so much anyway? It definitely hadn't always been like this. "And since when do I have to report to you anyway?"

Ignoring the lame attempt from Ryo to give him an 'order', Kazuya crossed his legs and leaned back against the uncomfortable back of the couch. It was an expensive couch though so it had to do - but why were expensive things uncomfortable? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Ah well, either way he had been asked a question, which meant he had gotten the (mentally) younger one's attention and for this minute that was good enough.
"Since when," he started with a smile and then leaned a bit forward with his right elbow against his leg so that he could (pretty gracefully if you ask me) let his chin rest in the palm of his hand. "Since the day that I claimed you, dearest."

Ryo tensed, eyes narrowing - he hated more than anything to be reminded of the fact that the little princess had gotten it into his head that... Well. Ryo did not belong to anyone, thank you very much, and it pissed him off royally to say that he did.
"You may have laid your fucked up claim to me but that doesn't mean I agree with it. I don't have to tell you anything," he muttered, with a dangerous edge to his voice that might have made some difference in years past... But this wasn't years past, this was now - now when Kamenashi Kazuya seemed to be having a lot of fun thinking everybody was under his thumb just because he wanted them to be. "Now if you'll excuse me, -sir-." Ryo offered a mocking smirk and turned to be on his way, idly wondering how far he'd get this time before the kid decided to exercise his 'control'. Seriously annoying.

Kazuya's grin grew as he remembered the day that he had first come across the greatness that was Nishikido Ryo. True he had been drunk at the time, but there was no way that he'd ever forget about it.

Kazuya pressed the (then) Kanjani8 member against the wall, with one arm against his throat and thus made it somewhat difficult for the other one to breath normally and to make a move to push the blonde one away. The year was 2008, Jin had quit about eight months ago. KAT-TUN were holding up, but mentally Kazuya was slowly reaching his breaking point and thus did everything he could (in other words not much) to prove that he was okay - one thing being dying his hair blonde. It didn't look that bad, but later on he'd realised he didn't like it. Now anyway, he was drunk and had gotten drunk because of a small mail from Jin. He'd asked about how he was and how he was doing - friendly stuff if you'd ask anyone but if you'd ask Kazuya the former KAT-TUN member was mocking him. Laughing at how he couldn't take this... and it was Jin too. Jin who he'd loved for so damn long.
With slender fingers, Kazuya carefully explored the little piece of jewellery that hung around Ryo's neck - Jin had one exactly like it. Ryo said something, probably something bitchy and insulting, but Kazuya didn't listen - he didn't listen at all simply because he didn't want to. Instead he carefully removed the arm that pressed against the other one's throat and took his right hand to let a finger follow his jaw line. It sort of reminded him of Jin's. The necklace was the same as Jin's, the jaw line wasn't all too different. It was different but it wasn't too much. The eyes were different - definitely different but eyes weren't important. The body figure was different as well but it didn't matter... the lips. Kazuya's eyes studied the lips for a short period of time before moving up to the eyes - eyes he didn't like at all. But he could ignore those, he could definitely ignore those. And thus he shut his own eyes before claiming the lips of Nishikido Ryo. Who the person was that he was kissing, Kazuya wasn't quite sure of but he was indeed kissing someone who reminded slightly of Jin and that was all he needed. He would take in this person, this person would be his for the rest of eternity. He would never let this person go, because he simply wouldn't let him - he had lost a Jin once and wouldn't lose one ever again. Breaking the kiss after what probably seemed far to long to Ryo, Kazuya opened his eyes again, only to look at this person that stood pinned to the wall before him.
"As from today," he said in a stern voice, somehow managing not to stumble over the words. He then put a hand against the older one's cheek and paid those lips one more glance before finishing his sentence. "You're mine."


In the beginning Kazuya had been all about Ryo and how he reminded of Jin, but now in late 2009 he was pretty much over Jin by now but those words were as if written in stone - they were not going anywhere. Ryo belonged to him and no one else. Not even that Uchi who had dropped out of training anyway. Ohkura had tried to claim him at some point as had Tegoshi and Kato - no one had ever succeeded, simply because Nishiki-maiden belonged to Kamenashi Kazuya and no one else.
"Ryo," Kazuya then said, making the other one stop for a short while (though he didn't turn around) and as he noticed how he had the other one's attention, Kazuya got up to his feet, only to walk up to the other one and once close enough he reached out one hand to lightly let a finger run down the other one's spine. Tipping his head to the side, Kazuya walked around to place himself in front of Ryo and smiled softly - a bit too softly one might think.
"Where are you going?"

Ryo shivered, despite his every effort to suppress it, and folded his arms. It was difficult to deal with Kazu- no, Kamenashi when he was being like this. In fact, 'being like this' had become increasingly often lately; so much so that it seemed Ryo was stuck with whatever 'this' was as it made like a fern and sucked all the life out of that to which it had attached itself so that it could flourish. At times like this, the shorter one fought a losing battle not to cast his mind back and wonder how things could have been had everything turned out differently. Kanjani might still have had their trademark infinity sign in lieu of the 8 - but there was no 8 anymore, just 7-where-8-should-be, and Ryo wasn't sure whether he was the only one still feeling the hole in the group. Both groups, in fact. None of the others ever mentioned it anyway. Sometimes he felt as though the hole stuck around just to remind him that it was his fault it existed in the first place...
"For a walk, to find Yassan," he heard himself say before his sense had any sort of chance to remind him that there was no rule or law saying that he had to report his every movement to KaT-TUN's front man. "I was bored, figured he might be a bit more entertaining than playing cell phone games for the next hour. Is there," he hesitated and wondered why exactly. His old self would never have done so. "Is there a problem with that, sir?" And still he continued with the 'sir', mocking the slightly taller one's increasing stranglehold on pretty much everything.

The younger one's smile grew a bit and he nodded slowly to answer the question which he'd been given. He didn't take the whole 'sir' thing bad, actually. It was rather a good thing, that Ryo knew how to talk to his -owner-, maybe one of these days he'd be able to not be so cocky too. He should be grateful after all, grateful to Kamenashi Kazuya who allowed him to walk to freely - true that he couldn't really cage him. Ryo needed to be on stage a lot of time and please his fans and so on - Kazuya knew this. But he also knew that lately NEWS' popularity had been going down and it was just a matter of time before they'd disband and ConteD would grow with that, seeing how Yamapi's popularity never seemed to fade away. Masuda would probably quit show business all together, with the death of Kusano three months ago he had already mentioned it once and would NEWS disband that would definitely be it. Tegoshi would definitely get a new group. Maybe with Yabu and Kitayama? Since those two had gotten official with their relationship their both groups had gotten some popularity boost and with Tegoshi having a great voice he'd work well with those two. Koyama would probably do variety and finally propose to Horikita Maki. Yes, the future of NEWS wasn't too difficult to figure out.
The point was though, that soon Ryo would have less to do and while Kazuya would get more with ConteD it wouldn't be too much. KAT-TUN didn't release much music anymore, anyway, they mostly just had their weekly show that had started once SMAPxSMAP was gone and when SMAP had disbanded, KAT-TUN's show KAT-TUNx3 had started on a regular basis and was doing okay. Kazuya still had a lot of free time and with Ryo getting it too eventually... maybe he should get a cage.
"Yassan isn't the only solution to your problems," the younger one said then and before Ryo had had a chance to avoid it, grabbed the thing wrist. Lately the (yet) overworking Nishikido had lost weight but it was getting rather sexy so Kazuya wasn't one to complain. Also he didn't really have much to say, himself he was down to 45 again. Ryo was probably 47? Around there anyway.
KAT-TUN's front man cast an eye at the closest dressing room he saw. Luckily enough he read 'KinKi Kids' and his grin grew wider. Then he looked at Ryo again.
"KinKi aren't getting here until five to midnight." That? Was not a suggestion, not a question or just random state of fact. It was pretty much a nicely said order.

Ryo was, by now, neither naive nor stupid enough to believe that Kamenashi had just been pointing out this small fact for his health or any other reason but that it meant something. And what it meant was pretty clear to him as well. It wasn't as though they'd never used another group's dressing room as a convenient location in which they could fuck without such things as disturbances. The princess had always hated to be interrupted, after all - not even Pi would do that anymore if he could help it. Though it wasn't hard to see that despite his popularity staying strong, Pi's very bouncy nature had waned quite a lot, especially since he'd gotten to be the odd one out in terms of NEWS - and it was a closely-guarded secret that before the idea had been scrapped entirely some time last year, he'd been getting Toma to write a lot of his JWeb entries. Ryo didn't understand why Toma stayed with Johnnys at all really - he was an actor now, didn't do much with music besides occasionally doing chorus for some of the other groups. Perhaps he was riding the coat-tails of the other groups and using the franchise name to boost his popularity. Ryo wouldn't put it past him.
"Really?," he asked, raising an eyebrow in deliberate defiance. Even if he couldn't do much to change anything, even if the Boss's power over anything had dwindled considerably, he'd still defy any and all orders just because he could. Because that was the only thing he -could- do anymore. "And what if I'd still rather go find Yassan?" That last part was perhaps unnecessary and it was probable that such blatant insolence would see him punished somehow - Ryo hated to think that princess Kamenashi had the power to do anything like punishing -him- of all people - but it brought him some satisfaction to say it, at least.

Ryo you sexy bastard, was the thoughts that went through Kazuya's head as he shook his head slowly and paid the closest wall a short glance. It was very tempting but it simply wasn't happening - they would get inside of KinKi Kids's dressing room and well there they'd take the couch and have some damn nice time. Well, Kazuya would anyway. Ryo would not - simply his own fault too for being so damn bold. He should have learned by now.
"But you won't," the younger one simply answered and turned to walk towards the empty dressing room. He still held on to Ryo's wrist quite hard, only to make sure he would follow and follow he did. Though, it wasn't as though he had much to say about it - Kazuya was both stronger and slightly taller than the other one so was a fight to happen (like it had many times before) it would end up with Kazuya on top of Ryo in the middle of the corridor, and... really. Ryo didn't want that. Kazuya had threatened with having sex in public once and all the older one had said was hell a lot of curses that pointed to that he didn't want it.
Kazuya pushed Ryo in to the empty room and then closed the door once he was inside as well. Just as suspected there were no one inside and there by the wall was a white couch. White, the colour of innocence that usually was connected to virginity and things that were holy. And it was on that specific couch that Kamenashi Kazuya would get his sexual fix for the day. The other kind he'd already taken an hour ago.
Though, for a few seconds, the younger one just stood with his back against the door and watched his possession turn around to face him. A smile grew on Kazuya's lips.
"Strip."

Ryo narrowed his eyes, another of those gestures that may have had some effect -before- but now proved to be useful for nothing but accessorising his attempts at not allowing Kamenashi everything he wanted one hundred percent of the time. But what the princess wanted, the princess got, and Ryo wasn't stupid enough to expect that he could do anything but delay it a little and possibly knock the taller one's composure off just a little by his continued refusal to blindly follow the other one's orders as everybody else seemed to have decided would be a good idea at some point. Ryo must have missed that memo. Or ignored it. Either one would suit, really - he didn't care all that much, just knew that he was probably the only one bothering to stand up to this diva gone horribly wrong.
"Do it your damn self," he retorted sharply, giving a challenging sort of stare. By now he knew that if he didn't accept these propositions like a good boy (which, by the way, was next to never; it only ever happened when he was caught on a bad day or when he was particularly exhausted) then he wouldn't get much out of them that he'd enjoy - but that was all part of the fun. Ryo knew quite well that, at least for now, -he- was what the princess wanted - denying Kamenashi the privilege of seeing him obey, a privilege not many got even once in their lifetimes, was a game to him. A game he often won... In his own eyes anyway. Managing not to follow orders and even sometimes getting so far that he was physically forced to do things was winning in Ryo's personal opinion. There wasn't much better that he'd plausibly get, anyway.

Had this been the first time, Kazuya's eyes would have narrowed and he would have yelled at the other one, but it wasn't. This had happened quite a lot actually - that Ryo thought he had the damn right to stand up to Kazuya and more or less every single damn time he got proven wrong. Why did some people never learn?
Anyway, as previously mentioned, Kazuya had expected this and thus he started walking towards the older one, going over in his head just how he would do this in a good way. There really wasn't many ways he could go on about this, it was either just a slap across the head, a fist in the face or stomach, a knee up his private parts could work, was it not for that Kazuya was very fond of - well at least one of those three down there.
Eventually Kazuya stopped right before Ryo and looked at him with blank eyes for a short period of time before doing something that probably just added to the reasons to call him 'princess'; he slapped Ryo across the face before pushing him backwards hard enough so that he stumbled back and hit the couch which, of course, made him sit down. Not in the most graceful way ever - how lucky that we are that Kazuya wasn't looking for graceful right now. Really, what a coincidence.
Happy that Ryo finally was sitting down, Kazuya took a step closer to the annoyed Kanjani member. He let his eyes travel up and down Ryo's body for a short while and as he came across the other one's crotch he couldn't help but grin a little. Soon, he told himself then and folded his arms over his chest.
"Unbutton your shirt, pretty~" he demanded of the older one, hoping he would be a smart boy and listen this time.

Ryo had landed so that he sat right at the edge of the couch and leaned right back - laying more than sitting, with darkly smouldering brown eyes peering through a fringe of hair where it'd fallen across his face. He wasn't surprised to find himself in this position, of course - it had been a very long time since the days during which Kamenashi might have hesitated to use force if the need presented itself. Ryo fancied himself as the embodiment of a need for physical force. It was almost exciting, in fact - or it might have been at some point. Perhaps it even still was, in some part of his mind. He didn't even know anymore... These days everything just seemed to run together like watercolours applied too quickly, until the separate elements weren't even recognisable anymore.
A quick assessment of the situation proved that this position was far too vulnerable and far too exposed for Ryo to be doing anything too risky. He didn't care about getting knocked around a bit, but he preferred not to sustain lasting damage - had yet to sustain any permanent damage save for a small scar here and there... But one never did know for certain, and he knew enough by now not to take any chances. Only an idiot would leave himself open to the princess and then do something to piss him off. So Ryo did as he was told - lifting his arms almost languidly to undo the top button of his shirt without taking his eyes from those of his captor. There. That was technically doing as he was told - though it was also being very difficult. It would be odd if he wasn't, really. This was just how things went for the most part. Kamenashi was demanding and in charge, and Ryo would make his best effort at making things more difficult for the miniature figure of royalty. Well, someone had to do it. It looked like everyone else had given up.
"There," Ryo muttered, voice barely above a whisper purely because it didn't need to be. He still didn't bother to fix his hair or sit up - he could see no reason to. "Anything else, sir?"

Kazuya's eyes darkened (if such thing is possible) as the one in front of him decided to be difficult. This was, honestly, pretty much killing him right now. He wanted sex and he was going to take some damn sex too within a short period of time - but before that he wanted something else and that was going to happen, whether Ryo wanted it to or not. He simply -would- do as he was told.
At the little sight of skin you got after Ryo having unbuttoned only one button, the shorter one couldn't help but smirk. This very guy before him knew he was hot, he knew he was wanted and thus tried to turn the tables around and be in charge. Well, it wasn't working. Kazuya could go on and rape the fucker on the couch right now if he wanted to - if the sex was all he wanted. Don't take him wrong though, the visual of raping Ryo was pretty damn exciting and sexy if you'd ask him so maybe he'd try it at some time but not now.
The younger one took a step forward, still with his arms folded.
"All of it," he then said, figuring he should at least be clear enough before using violence - nice of him, don't you think?

Ryo smirked in another small display of open defiance toward the threatening gestures with which he was faced. He wouldn't be intimidated. He'd do as he was told because there was no other way, because nobody in this agency had such a thing as free will anymore - not except the princess, anyway - but he'd do so on his own terms and in his own time. If that would get him punished then so be it. It wasn't as though any of it really hurt anyway... Or so his pride said. His body quietly disagreed, but was promptly hushed.
"Why?," he asked, tipping his head just slightly as best he could in his current position, the fingers of one hand toying with the one button of his shirt that he'd already opened in what might have been an absentminded way; were it not for the fact that Nishikido Ryo never did anything 'in an absentminded way'. His wits were about him one hundred percent of the time, for the simple reason that they needed to be, and he kept them sharp for such encounters as this. Anyone else in his position might have been crushed and dismissed as boring a long time ago, and Ryo was aware that if he just pretended to become an obedient little creature then perhaps Kamenashi would get bored of him... But such deceit was below the Kanjani member, and he refused to seriously consider it as a possibility.

That was when the first level of Kamenashi Kazuya's patience left him. Instead of answering the question, the younger one took a step forward, paid no attention to that this shirt might be used in the countdown later (was it?) and ripped the shirt open, causing more than just a few buttons fall down in the couch/on the floor. The chest and stomach of Nishikido Ryo was about as nice looking as ever and had the circumstances been different, this very princess that often got called 'sir' (how did that make sense?) would probably admired the older one for making himself look good like this - but now he had been forced to do things on his own and thus he didn't have time for things like that. Instead he leaned forward and grabbed Ryo's chin in what would be called a hard way and locked eyes with the older one.
"The pants," he said in a low voice and took his free hand to click a bit on Ryo's belt but then quickly removed his hand so that the sitting (laying) one would be able to do things on his own and instead grabbed the back of the couch in order not to lose his balance while waiting.

A lesser man might have attempted to struggle free as slender fingers wrapped tightly around Ryo's chin and effectively immobilised him from the neck up - but Ryo himself knew better and was -not- a lesser man, in fact. There were unspoken, unwritten rules concerning the communication of pain; this didn't hurt nearly enough to be complaining about it, in fact it was more uncomfortable than anything else. Enduring such things without complaint, without flinching, showed that it didn't hurt. No - Kamenashi would have to try harder than -that- to get a reaction.
Sparing absolutely no thought for his irreparably ruined shirt or the costs that replacing it would incur, Ryo stared levelly into the eyes of the one he still fancied to be nothing more than the luckier of two equals and set about unfastening his belt as though he had all the time in the world with which to be doing such. It was difficult to do much different when thus inhibited, but since he already knew that he wouldn't be getting much out of this, he'd settle for making as much out of it as he possibly could.
"So impatient," the elder one breathed, smirking in what could be called an amused sort of way. Yes, amused - as much of a trial as this could be, it was always amusing and maybe even fun to watch Kamenashi's patience wear slowly away.

As Kazuya felt Ryo's breath his face, he couldn't help but smirk. It was true that Kamenashi's patience wasn't what it once had been (and even back in 2005-2006 had it been bad) but he had some that he could use if only he got -something- while waiting and as he, right now, waited for the older one to finish undoing his belt, Kazuya moved slightly so that one of his legs stood in between Ryo's before leaning in to claim the Kanjani member's lips. A kiss between these two was never a question about answering and whatever else came with romance - this was Kamenashi Kazuya's tongue loving to dominate (or rather fight to dominate) the kiss with Ryo's and it was because of that he forced (or maybe Nishikido let him?) the kiss to quickly become deeper and took the hand from the couch to let it run over the older one's chest. While this did show that Kazuya was willing to wait a few seconds for Ryo to undo his pants, a kiss and touching like this always (-always-) meant that there was no way there would be more space than necessary between them until Kazuya had had what he had come for (or rather dragged Nishikido in here for).

Ryo had known this was coming, though he hadn't been sure quite how long it would take - their time together was becoming most predictable by now, coloured only by the game of seeing how long Kamenashi's patience would hold out before he became violent as had happened so often before. Ryo wasn't about to admit it aloud, but he liked this game. Liked it because everything was different, because nobody had ever dared to attempt to tell him what to do before. It reminded him that what he'd had before wasn't all there was to have, no matter how much he missed how things had been at some point. It'd been years and he wasn't stupid enough to entertain himself with the idea that the one of whom he still thought from time to time was thinking of him at all - they didn't talk anymore, hadn't said a word to one another since...
No. He wasn't going to think about that anymore. It'd been too fucking long still to be dwelling on something like this. Annoyed that someone - something - could still be bothering him even after he'd vanished back into the crowd of faceless civilians, Ryo had barely finished undoing his belt before he acted on impulse in an attempt to distract himself and bit harshly down on the foreign tongue in his mouth with every attempt at making it as painful as possible.

A bite was something that Ryo had not been ready for and thus that had hurt more than it should have. Though he didn't do a single move to show this, he knew how to deal with sudden pain without making too much fuss about it. Instead he just set on returning the favor - cause Nishikido Ryo pain, which he did with leaning even more against the older one and once the raven-haired guy had decided he didn't want tongue for dinner anymore, Kazuya broke the kiss. He paid no attention to look Ryo in the eyes or something though but forced him down into laying position in the couch and pulled down the pants and underwear as long as needed - just below the knees. Then the slightly smaller one (frame-wise) lowered himself (still wearing clothes himself) over Ryo and bit on to his lower lip before moving down to let his (probably swollen) tongue run over the older one's nipple while his fingers teased the other one. Very well aware of that it would be uncomfortable (and maybe even hurt, depending on how sensitive for belts the older one was), Kazuya pressed his hips down before slowly moving. Had he been without any clothes it might have been exciting, maybe a nice kind of feeling, but with jeans, a fly and a belt that could bring nothing but an uncomfortable feeling and possible pain, Kazuya was hoping for the latter, you realise.

Biting his lip hard to suppress any sort of sound that the collision of two conflicting sensations might create, Ryo tipped his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. This was better, this was exciting, this was something he couldn't lose sight of himself in. He didn't need any of that romance bullshit, all long slow kisses and random affectionate gestures and a whole lot of crap that mostly came to absolutely nothing in the end. No, what he needed was to get to the point. To make it a battle, a game, like a war between two countries - each led by their own sadistic tyrant. Or perhaps 'dictator' was a more appropriate word to use.
The elder of the two knew he was losing again and almost didn't have the spare brainpower with which to care in-between clutching at handfuls of Kamenashi's hair (which was probably a bit painful, but that as always was less than relevant and even a positive side-effect) and pressing himself into the couch in a vain, useless attempt at somewhat alleviating the pain in other parts of his body. Losing well was still part of the battle. It wasn't over until it was over, and Ryo knew that it was not even close to being over quite yet.
"You're getting predictable, princess," Ryo heard himself utter through clenched teeth. Before now he might have wondered how he was still managing to form coherent speech at this point, but now he was smart enough to know that he could do it because he had to do it. Because that was part of the game, and giving up was never an option. "You've run out of tricks already?"

Kazuya just grinned, despite the pain it caused him to have someone pull his hair like that. The younger one almost cast his head back then, causing Ryo to lose his grip and before he had a chance to take a new one, Kazuya had moved a bit to his side, lifting himself from the smaller one. Kazuya then claimed the older one's lips again while his other hand went down to tease the member between Ryo's legs. For anyone that would probably be normal, most people would probably enjoy it and think that doing things like that was normal - it was normal. Normal that you did it for more than just a few seconds (which Kazuya did) and instead continued with whatever came next - which meant somewhat preparing the older one. It wasn't always he did such things, sometimes he could be rough and pretty mean and do nothing but considering (wow, he considered...) how they were going to be on stage in a few hours it was not a good thing if Nishikido Ryo would go around - or rather, try to go around and failing at it. It would cause people to ask if he was hurt and that would just be bothersome. So being somewhat nice, two of Kazuya's fingers entered Ryo as he kissed the older one down the neck and then leaned slightly to the side to let his tongue run over the other one's nipple one more time.

Ryo bit back a groan, more of the pained variety than anything else though by looking at him you'd know very well that at the very least he enjoyed this on a physical level - not that anyone was supposed to be looking at him right now, in fact he'd have been quite happy were Kamenashi to voluntarily surrender his privileges on that plain; for it had already been made obvious that it was simply an impossible task to attempt to take them from him by force. In fact it had become as of late quite impossible to force the little princess into anything at all - Ryo was of the personal opinion that everyone had given this kid for too much and were all now paying the price now he'd learned how to take more and keep it.
Biting his lip to hold back from making a sound - he wouldn't allow that privilege that was one thing he could keep to himself - Ryo squeezed his eyes shut as his hands balled into fists in the absence of anything to be holding onto. Kind of funny really; after such a while he still wasn't used to it... Well at one point he'd thought he'd never do this with anyone, let alone Kamenashi Kazuya of all people, so perhaps it could be forgiven that the Sexy Osaka Man (though nobody called him that anymore and he certainly didn't refer to himself as that) was somewhat reluctant to become used to it. Usually made the eventual outcome hurt quite a lot - he'd read somewhere, though didn't know where, that that was because he was so tense - but he didn't really care that much so long as he was able to walk correctly. Which he usually was, though with some small discomfort, when he was prepared in this way first.

Making things even more uncomfortable (though himself he would say this was nice of him) for Ryo, Kazuya let a third finger find its way into Ryo and as he felt how the older one tensed even more, he took another kiss from those lips that resembled Jin's so much. It wasn't a matter of allowance when it came to these two though, and thus Kazuya forced his own tongue into Ryo's mouth. This didn't last for too long, but long enough for him to think that Ryo was -somewhat- prepared and ready and thus he pulled out his fingers, pretty quickly and instead set upon undoing his own belt and get his pants down to - at least - the knees. Kazuya bit down into Ryo's neck, not too hard but was he fragile it might have been hard enough to draw blood - who knows. At least Kazuya didn't taste any blood so far and this continued down to the older one's collar bone - obviously not biting down there but you know. Kissing, licking and pretty much everything that wasn't biting.

The really quite snarky thought saying something like 'who are you kidding Kamenashi, you're not as big as that' flashed through Ryo's mind an instant before the added pain did - and then the sudden feeling of emptiness that shouldn't have been there. This was normal. It wasn't right to have anything there - Ryo had even joked a few times with the other members of Kanjani (plus the one who wasn't anymore, the one he wasn't supposed to be thinking about) about getting a tattoo in that region reading 'exit only'. Except that he couldn't really do that anymore, could he? Kamenashi was no good at following rules, after all, unless they suited him - and Ryo couldn't see that particular rule suiting him at all.
"I know you're hungry after all that starving yourself," Ryo growled through clenched teeth, fingers finding a grip on the younger one's shoulders as though to push him away. "But I'm not fucking edible, in case you hadn't already noticed."

A grin grew on Kazuya's lips as he heard that, and had this been a year or so ago, he would have paused, asked what the -fuck- Ryo meant with that and then hit him or something. Insult him probably before continue what he was doing - though no such thing was to happen now. Instead he just continued with his pants - finally unbuttoning all the damn buttons on his pants he pulled back almost sat up (just almost) as he pulled them and the underwear down. Now this was where he could either be a bit nice, just lie down over the older one for a while, kiss him a little and then be gentle and- or not.
It didn't take long and thus there's no need for descriptions. Kazuya entered Ryo without as much as a warning beforehand and once inside he leaned a bit forward to claim the older one's lips again. Being a bit nice (amazingly enough) he gave Ryo a few moments to get used to it, to let go of the pain it must have caused him and for him to relax - if he wanted to that is. Most of the time it seemed as if he almost wanted to bleed. Maybe things like that turned him on. Anyway. Breaking away (which wasn't so hard) from a kiss, Kazuya started to move and first now answered to the insult, or whatever it was that Ryo had said.
"Be happy I'm not Hannibal Lecter then," he replied, knowing very well it was a lame thing to say but he really couldn't think of such things as insult now that he was finally, -finally-, getting some. Really, don't blame him.

"I'd prefer that guy to you," Ryo choked out, still holding onto the younger one's shoulders as though for dear life. God it hurt, it hurt like a bitch every single time and yes, he was aware that he was supposed to relax but... Well, he couldn't do it. You try to relax while the person you hate above all others, the bane of your existence is taking his own personal pleasure from your body just because he wants to. Ryo didn't think anyone in their right mind would be able to do that.
"Better looking... Probably a better singer too... Nng-" Ow ow ow ow good god but couldn't this be over now? Couldn't Kamenashi just finish already? But Ryo knew from experience that it'd be a while yet... Curse the unlikely stamina of the little princess. "Y-You suck at this, just... Just so y'know..."

This was where Ryo should count himself as lucky. Had it not been for the fact that the little Kanjani member would be on stage later on, Kazuya would most likely have made sure that the pretty one beneath him would have at least one new bruise - visible for the rest of the world to see. That wasn't going to happen though, simply because he - Kamenashi Kazuya - was a considerate guy and thought of others. When he wanted to.
He had just now gotten insulted and it had happened before, though not in KinKi Kids' dressing room when Kazuya was in this kind of mood. Uh... point was, that hit harder now than what it usually did and thus he was not going to punish the older one for it. At least not now, instead he would force him to eventually go back on his words and thus he calmed himself a little, started to move a bit slower while he, with one of his hands, grabbed Ryo's cock and after some adjusting he managed to get a good rhythm so that everything that happened (just being about three things; sex, hand job, kissing) seemed to happen in sync.

A less than gentle touch combined with too much friction from calluses that had been there longer than anyone could plausibly tell burned painful - the pain magnified significantly by the sensitivity of the flesh and the stinging ache already marking its scarlet knife-edge path across Ryo's senses. Every time, every single time it cut into him and left scars that could not be seen; they could only be felt. Felt with every breath he took, with every time he forced a smile and every time he typed out the familiar number on his cell phone and just stared at it. Not once did he call - he was convinced that if he did, nobody would answer anyway. Perhaps a new lover, one he hadn't met who didn't know not to answer to this number. He could do without that, without an unfamiliar voice asking what he wanted because he didn't know.
Giving way to a low, keening wail barely audible under his breath, Ryo tipped his head back and forced himself to concentrate on the pain. The red-hot burning that drowned out everything else with its screaming demand for his attention. He didn't pretend to believe any of that crap about only feeling alive when in pain, or pain making him feel better - emo kids who slit their wrists as a plea for attention said stuff like that. No, Ryo liked the pain because it was a distraction. Because it was something else to think about and because... Because it gave him some purpose. Something he lacked as of late.

Kazuya almost froze as felt the older one's release all over his hand. Now really, that had been expected, he'd expected it of course - since he was doing him and all, but this soon - this early? Even before- Cutting off his thoughts Kazuya, without any hesitation at all and cum all over his hand, slapped Ryo hard across the face. Hopefully it hurt and hopefully it was a bit uncomfortable - simply because that was what happened if you came earlier than you were allowed. Evidently frustrated, Kazuya then continued with what he was doing - just faster and a bit harder - more angry (obviously) - than he'd gone on before. One of his hands were holding on to the back of the couch while the other rested on Ryo's shoulder. Even though he was going to hit Ryo one more time once this was over, Kazuya laid down - somewhat- and bent down his head as his movements got faster, to place a kiss on Ryo's chest. The kid might be rude, without manners and pretty much a badass and not a very good one at that - but right now. God damn how he loved him. Just a -little- more.

Ryo recoiled from the stinging slap of the princess's hand, already cursing himself for allowing the ultimate proof of his weakness to show itself so quickly. Why, though? Why hadn't he been able to hold off, like every other time? He didn't know. Perhaps he was more fucked up than he'd thought, his mind so used to the pain during an act that was supposed to be pleasurable that it mistook the harsh sting for the soft yet powerful bright glow he'd felt once upon a time. He didn't get that anymore, but that was really no surprise to him. Why? Well, because he didn't deserve that anymore.
Digging clipped fingernails into any exposed skin he could find, dragging them to create angry red lines across the deceptively delicate near-white shade one might associate with porcelain, Ryo hissed angrily as he felt Kamenashi finish inside of him. It felt so disgustingly wrong - and what was worse was that he knew there wasn't much to be done about it. He'd have to go on stage soon and would doubtlessly still be feeling it, still have the constant reminder that this was part of his life now.
"Fucker," Ryo hissed, feeling as though now he needed to reaffirm his absolute and all-consuming hatred of the younger one.

At that, Kazuya looked up to lock eyes with Ryo. Catching his breath, as he wouldn't be able to do much more but to possibly roll off to the floor like he was now, the younger one only breathed heavily. Moments later he smirked at the so called insult before moving a little and placed a light kiss upon Ryo's lips.
"I know," went his reply. Despite the word's real meaning he knew - he knew very well that he was an ass these days but it wasn't his damn fucking fault. It was the damn Akanishi's fault and everything that had come with his departure. It was because of him that things had started to change but if Kazuya would be given the option to go back to the summer 2007 - the summer when KAT-TUN had been bigger than ever with Jin's return from the states. Back then they had been a group that most juniors looked up to... then Akanishi went and ruined all of it because of some girl or whatever. That was when Kazuya had started to fall, when Ryo had started he didn't know... but it probably was around then too sometime? Either way he was really down right now so no matter how much he said he hated the front man of KAT-TUN (and about 3rd front man for Johnny's Entertainment after Tackey and Yamapi)-
"You love it," Kazuya said, confident as always and then quickly got up to his feet to pull up his pants.

"Like fuck I do," Ryo retorted angrily, giving way to a quiet expulsion of breath against the pain that spiked into his consciousness as he lifted his hips to follow suit and bring himself back to a suitable state of dress. Well, almost. He was quite filthy, but hopefully nobody would notice - the others knew that the two of them were prone to the occasional barb-laden exchange, though they knew nothing of this and Ryo was quite sure that he'd like it to stay that way.
"No fucker in his right mind could love anything about an attentionwhore like you," he continued, standing up and stretching to check his mobility. Damn it hurt. But it'd get better reasonably soon, he just had to walk around a bit first. "Always knew there was a reason Jin left. Hell, you're probably what's up with Pi lately too - wouldn't put it past you. You're what's wrong with this place lately. Don't even know why you bother staying."

Things similar to that had been said before, and Kazuya had been pissed about it before. And now that it was said like that - so directly like that... He could either talk back or beat the crap out of the fucker standing too close to him.
"Me and Pi broke up ages ago," he first informed the other one very matter-of-factly. He was just about to say something about the comment on Jin before something else crossed his mind and he waited for the older one to at least get his pants on before clearing his throat and tipping his head to the side.
"You're trying to say that it was because of me that Jin left? Because you honestly think he and I did what you and I do?," smiling a little at that, as if Ryo was suggesting the moon was out of cheese, Kazuya shook his head.
"No dear, but there is a reason to why Uchi quit."

Ryo froze entirely. Not once had anyone had the balls to bring that up to his face, to point out that there had been a reason for the ex-Kanjani member's departure from Johnny's Entertainment as a whole - the excuse of wanting to study home economics was a poor one and flimsy. Hiroki - no - Uchi had never shown so much as a passing interest in home economics before, or indeed anything to do with it. It was, of course, a cover up; as so many things were in this industry. This one just happened to be the very least convincing one that anyone had ever thought of... In Ryo's opinion, anyway. Perhaps it had been meant that way, to quietly illustrate the great chasm that had formed between arguably the two most popular members. All Ryo's fault, of course. Everything was always all Ryo's fault, as though he physically couldn't keep himself from doing the wrong thing. He wouldn't have been surprised were that the case.
What had he done to invite this, you ask? What could Nishikido Ryo possibly have done to drive the one person he'd thought would never leave him to such a length as they wouldn't speak to one another in almost two years? Well, Ryo had done what he did best - he'd been completely selfish beyond all reason and become so cocky in his fame (or perhaps so stressed with the double workload) that at one point he'd had three girlfriends; fuckbuddies, as he'd always called them. Plus Hiroki, who always seemed so patient and even as though he believed it when Ryo said that those girls were just so he could always have some way of letting off some steam. That they didn't mean anything.
It went on for far too long, as the elder one took his boyfriend for granted more and more and began denying that there was anything between them... Just like he'd used to, back when he'd been insecure about being with a guy, and for a while when he'd been so adverse to the idea of sharing his personal information with anyone else anyway. They'd argued about it, Hiroki pointing out quite rightly that Ryo spent more time with Keika and Hikaru and Rina than with him. It had ended up with a very power-drunk Ryo stating simply that if Hiroki didn't like it then he could always leave.
So he had. Barely a week passed before Hiroki announced to his friends that instead of continuing with his training, he'd decided to concentrate on his studies. The then-blonde boy had spared a sad smile for Ryo - a smile that was forever etched on his memory. A smile that had made him change, made him himself again - far too late.
"Yeah," Ryo mumbled almost hesitantly, turning his eyes from his unlikely 'owner' to the floor - effectively humbled. "Yeah, there is."

A smirk grew on Kazuya's lips before he walked up to the older one and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at his owner (master if you want). He knew it was heartless of him to bring up Uchi, just about as heartless his and Yamapi's break-up had been. Yamapi not being able to deal with Kazuya's depression and Kazuya growing sick and tired of how damn childish and helpless the NEWS leader always was. Obviously that was not how the case had been back then, it was just Kamenashi Kazuya's patience being down below zero and Yamapi not knowing what to do. It was understandable really, but for someone like Kazuya it was too much. Way too much. But that was history and today, right now, his past with Yamapi didn't haunt him at all, it didn't bother him in the slightest and if they had to they could actually be alone in the same room without fighting. Which was quite an improvement from how it had been five years ago.
Anyway, it was not Yamapi who Kazuya had claimed to be his but Nishikido Ryo and that very person stood before him, looking almost a bit angry and just a second ago he had looked very, very depressed. Which wasn't allowed. It was probably true to say that Kazuya actually wanted to have a real relationship with this very Kanjani member before him but hell would be freezing over before he'd say something like that out loud. It was a miracle he allowed such thoughts to cross his mind to begin with - anyway, it wasn't as if he'd actually say them out loud so they were of no importance right now.
The younger one suddenly claimed Ryo's lips and with that let go of the slightly shorter one's chin. Instead he let that hand fall down to the older one's waist and pull him slightly closer. This was just going to be kissing though - he'd got what he wanted for today so that was okay. For now. At the party after the countdown there would probably be more to expect but that wasn't until a few hours after midnight.

In stark contrast to the situation just minutes ago, all the fight seemed to have gone out of Ryo - at least for the time being. Indeed, he seemed almost subdued and perhaps even shy in his hesitant response to the forced contact he was by now so very used to. It wasn't often that he reacted to anything in this way, unless (as previously mentioned) one happened to catch him at the tail end of a particularly difficult or stressful day - even then one was just as likely to find oneself on the receiving end of the legendary (though recently somewhat ineffective in this case) Nishikido temper that was definitely not absent in Ryo.
In fact, it was probably true enough to say that the slightly smaller one gave off a vibe of being almost desperate. Or perhaps just desperately lonely? He did, after all, tend to distance himself from pretty much everyone these days - rejecting any and all attempts to bring him back into the fold. He seemed to prefer it this way; being friendly enough to have amusing conversations but not allowing anyone close enough that they felt as though they could ask him personal questions. It had taken him really quite a while to get to that stage, and was quite set on taking it to the grave that he missed how he'd been before. But he couldn't do that anymore, he had to keep things private. He had to...
Ryo fought back the familiar sting of bitter tears and forced himself to concentrate on the here-and-now. The fact that perhaps, against all expectations, Kamenashi Kazuya now qualified as the one person who understood Ryo better than anyone else. It didn't mean he liked the guy, of course - he didn't and didn't think he ever would. But somehow he preferred someone hate him for what they knew than love him for what they didn't know. Surely that wasn't so bad..?

-------------

[A/N]: Obviously; comments are very appreciated~


Obviously x-posted ^.^;
Tags: fanwork: fanfiction
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