Claudia (loveandcoffee) wrote in kanjani8,

Janiben 004 - 2007/05/23 summary


Doumo, Sakura desu! Bringing you every week a summary of our beloved Kanjani8's show "Janiben", for all the non-Japanese speakers' delight! ♪

Shingo begins by introducing the show, but this time the introduction is quicker.

They're dressed rather better than usual.
As usual there is a VTR with the opinion people have on this week's guest.
"He looks like he knows a lot of random things".
"He looks like he's very intelligent."
"Dimples! Dimples! His dimples are cute!" (Brutally off topic, there is this Japanese saying that goes "Horete shimaeba, abata mo ekubo" -"If you're in love, even pockmarks seem dimples"- and it makes me laugh a lot because I've been told that about my love for Shingo and well, they're partially right... XDDDDDD) "His chin is surprisingly sharp."
"I think he might be unexpectedly gloomy. I absolutely think he is."
"He eats a lot, he talks a lot..." Cameraman says "What if he were your boyfriend?" and they reply "Absolutely no! I'd get fat!" XD
"Lately he's gotten fatter. Is it methabolic?"
"He's a charismatic gourmet reporter"
"It's IT Revolution~!" (one of his catchphrases)
"Kimimaro? Eh?"
"Kikomaru?" "He's not Kikomaru... He's not Utamaro either..."

Shingo introduces Kikomaro. You might have guessed, he's a gourmet reporter (i.e. a TV "journalist" who makes reportages about food). They greet each other and say they haven't been seeing each other for a long time. Kikomaro-san says "I've changed a lot..." And Yoko: "What? Did you get fatter?" (look who's talking XD) "You look so full you're about to burst!"
"Once you told me that my face when I'm biting something looks like Gachapin."
"Your clothes'colour is no help." (Kikomaro-san is dressed in green)
Then, The Serious Show Host Murakami Shingo, as if to remind everyone that this is a real TV show and not Yokocho's iitaihoudai corner, introduces what Kikomaro-san wants to teach to our boys: "The entertainment world is a treasure box!"
He says that men can "recycle" themselves and continue making business in the entertainment world.
Shingo: "Because once, you were a heart-breaker, weren't you?"
Kikomaro-san: "Say it again?" (he's very happy XD)
Shingo: "gfiaudgpadighagoihker, weren't you?" XDDD
Kikomaro-san: "You know, originally I was a model."
All the people in the audience and some of eito go all "Eeeeeh?" and Shingo says mockingly: "Well, well, it's true. Do you want to see a photo?" And they show a photo of a very young Kikomaro, sporting the same hairstyle everybody, starting from then-JE top idols Hikaru Genji, had at that time. I still wonder how fans distinguished one from each other. Anyway, everyone is surprised, while someone in eito (Shingo?) shouts "Your eyebrows are thick!" Kikomaro-san was 18 at that time. It was a supermarket ad XD After modelling, he also became an idol, even if only for a short time. He even acted in some theatre shows and even had a cd-debut! They also show a picture of him as an idol. Shouts of "Kakkoii!" follow, and Shingo says he looks like Ozaki Yutaka (if you don't know who Ozaki Yutaka is, you're missing out on one of the most talented musical legends in Japan, go listen to him NOW). Shingo asks what was the reason why he entered the showbiz, and it's because he won second place in a "Nice Guy Contest" held by Fuji TV. The first place was won by Yoshida Eisaku. Everyone is really impressed by this. He talks about his jimusho (which was not JE) and lists some celebrities who used to be part of it. He also mentions that he was rather popular and girls went "kyaaa" at him.
When asked why did he become a tv gourmet reporter, he says that he was a regular in a certain show, in which he asked himself to have a gourmet corner. His first job was reviewing a chocolate angel pie and he was all "waaa, looks so good, how nostalgic, look at this" and torn the pie in two and showed the section. So everyone praised him because he was good at it since the very first time.
Then he introduces the "3 R" that are necessary for a gourmet reporter: Research, Reaction and Repeat. Research, as in going to the restaurant beforehand, talking about idle things with the owner of the place, becoming "friends" to a certain extent, and running the camera only after this. The job begins since they meet, and the reporter has to create a good atmosphere. Reaction, as in having true reactions in front of the camera: so it's absolutely NG to have a taste of the food before filming, because reactions have to be fresh and spontaneous. Yoko asks what does he do if the food he eats tastes bad. Kikomaro: "I know I would be asked this, but you don't have to tell anyone!"
Yoko: "I won't say it, but you know, we're on tv..." XDDDDDD

**cm break**

Kikomaro: "When you eat it, you have to change it into an objective reaction. For example, 'People who like these things, won't resist it!' or 'It has such a unique flavour'..." (Yoko dies laughing in the meantime) He won't say it tastes bad, because other people could find it tasty.
Finally, Repeat as in becoming someone who's at the same time unique but easy to be directed by the director (what's the connection with 'repeat', I do not know.)
Shingo: "What is food for you, Kikomaro-san?"
Kikomaro-san: "It's a coprotagonist It's not a thing, but a coprotagonist".
So, Kikomaro-san will show Eito what he's taught them in practice. He will have to report about ramen. (Raaaaaaaaameeeeeen... *ç*) The point is doing it without stopping talking. First, it's the face. "Wow! Take a look at this ramen!" It's important to point the dish with the hands, it's more impressive. Of course tasting a ramen starts with the soup. He shows how to take the soup with the spoon, then says "Wooooow! The shoyu is very thick (noko)! Noko, noko, no-komment!" (how lame. =___= he just made it on the moment XDD) Then, it's the noodles. He shows how to take the noodles in a tasty-looking way (and says there should be 13 noodles on the chopsticks XD) Looks like making noises makes everything look tastier, whatever. And Kikomaro-san goes: "This noodles and this soup's embrace! It really is ramen's ballroom dancing!"
The third part is about "Become only one!". Kikomaro-san has a distinctive trait of saying a surreal comparison as ending, about the food he eats. Here are some.
"It's the flavour's manner mode!"
"It's a spiritual apparition by the matsutake mushroom rice!"
"It's the IT revolution of flavour!"
(I loooove the way Shingo pronounces the "Yaa~" at the end of every phrase)
Anyway, Kikomaro-san points out that each of this phrases represents a different flavour. You know, "manner mode" is the silent mode for Japanese mobile phones. So "Flavour's manner mode" (said after he ate a steak) means that it was so good that his body trembled, like a mobile phone's vibration mode. XDDDD Then, he was eating rice cooked with water that was used for cooking matsutake mushroom, and the smell of mushrooms remained vaguely on the rice. Therefore, it was a "spiritual apparition" XD (I must admit some of these are brilliant! XD) The last one, the "IT revolution", I really have no idea what IT is in the first place, so I give up, sorry. (u__u )''
Then they will have a quiz on Kikomaro-san's phrases. A VTR shows some of them:
"It's the treasure box of vegetables!"
"It's the goose-down stuffed futon of fish!"
"It's the government coalition of sweetness and sourness!"
"It's the aesthetics of ice-cream!"
The question is: what was Kikomaro-san's comment about some hot chirimen he ate in Kyoto? (chirimen is a dish made with dry, super tiny fish, cooked in a peculiar way.) Eito write their answers on the flipboards. Shingo adds as a hint, that it was a word that was popular some time ago.
Maru: "It's the bantamweight of flavour! It's 1,2,3, FOOOOO!" (hahahahahahhahahahahahaahahah notice the reference to Hard Gay XDDD) He explains: as the chirimen is hot, the flavour comes in like a punch, hence "bantamweight". (ok, but WHY HARD GAY?? XDD)
Tacchon: "It's chirimen's spiritual counsellor!" (I love the voice he makes XDDD) Kikomaro-san is impressed and says that he will use this phrase the next time XD
Yoko: "It's chirimen's MK5!" Shingo: "It's old!" (It's really old... it's short for Maji Kireru 5byou mae, i.e. 5 seconds before I get really angry)
Ryo: "It's chirimen's company purchase!" (Notice he did not remember the correct kanji so he just wrote it in katakana... XDD I love Ryo's writing btw)

This phrase is praised by everyone (sasuga Ryochan!)
Yasu: he's a bit dubious, but he goes for "It's chirimen's pachi-pachi-punch!" (cuuuuuuuute!) because at the beginning it's all crispy (pachi-pachi) and then the hotness comes like a punch.
Last, Subaru: "It's chirimen's handkerchief prince!" It seems it's a word that was popular last year, but I don't know what it's about. Anyway, much to Baru's own surprise, it looks like it's the best of the six. But nobody guessed the correct solution, so they have another go. The hint is: it's a word that gained popularity from a magazine. Someone goes "Ah! I got it!" but they have to write it down without saying it.
They show the new answers all together, so I can't see them all. Tacchon wrote: "It's chirimen's Girolamo!" because chirimen look like Girolamo's chest hair (you don't know Girolamo Panzetta? You're lucky. He's from Naples, he's mysteriously successful in Japan despite his being UGLY and DISGUSTING, and he's a living stereotype, he makes all Italian look like happy-go-lucky passionate frauds which is NOT true. I hate it when I say I'm Italian and everybody goes "Oh, like Girolamo!" NO I'M NOT LIKE GIROLAMO THANK YOU VERY MUCH /end of ranting) The correct answer was: "It's really chirimen's choiwaru oyaji!" (Choiwaru oyaji was a "trend" within Japanese middle-aged men that was observed last year, like, opposite to female middle-aged people, men tend to neglect themselves, their style etc but to be honest I'm not 100% sure.) So, the ones who guessed are Yoko and Shota.
Following the teachings of Kikomaro-san when he ate ramen, Eito are going to try to be gourmet reporters. But first...

Yeeeeeeey! Baddo again! Nakaman daisukiiiiii, you and your prominent chin and huge mouth ♥ (ok. I'll stop here as he is underage and LJ will probably ban me. XD)

They are going to a place called "Shirobara" (White rose) to meet a professional who represents Japan. This time it's a billiards professional! Kimura Yoshikazu, age 74, artistic billiards (or wasn't it "pool" in English? ò_O) world champion.

BAD ask Kimura-san to show them some techniques. Looking at them is enough without explaining XD Notice BAD's impressed faces XD They really don't say much more than "Muri!" (It's impossible!) before he does it, and "Sugee! (Brilliant!) after he shows them. Then of course it's BAD's turn to challenge the green table. They will have to hit the white ball at the same time in order to make the target balls get into the pockets without making them colliding. Watching is more understandable than explaining. Of course as they are Johnnys, they managed to do it! Kimura san says that the point of artistic billiard is making other people have fun, not only the player.
The Juniben segment ends here with the usual "Benkyou ni narimashita!" (We've learned something!)

Back to the gourmet reporter challenge mentioned before Juniben. Here, have a Murakami introducing it (the thirty-two teeth of love♥):

The guys (except Shingo of course... but "Forward" is in the bgm ^o^) have to choose 1 of 6 different food, and report about it.
First, Ookura challenges ebi-fry (fried shrimps)!

"Have a look at this! Look at these three shrimps, they are alive! Let's add a bit of sauce... itadakimasu! Ah... so gooood! (I love the tiny voice he makes XDDD even though his real voice is deep) *serious* This tastes good!" (Notice Shingo that draws closer to tsukkomi him) Kikomaro praises Ookura because he made the food look really delicious. And not only the food, I'd add...
Second, Ryo chooses hiyayakko (cold tofu with various seasonings). "Hello, this is Nishikido Ryo. Today I will eat this. This hiyayakko looks very delicious, doesn't it?" Kikomaro says Ryo is good, he's also portioning the hiyayakko in a very precise way and eats it with the chopsticks (which is difficult because tofu crumbles, but Ryochan is a gentleman!). "Itadakimasu." Kikomaro says "Ah, he even paused 2 seconds..." and Shingo verbally tsukkomies him for interrupting Ryo: "You, shut up!" and Ryochan's all cute and embarassed ^o^

Ryo continues: "This reminds me of my mother. I feel like I am about to cry. It's so tasty, how should I say it... The tofu is all puri-puri..." (you don't get it in English translation, but his language is super-polite♥) The time is over and Ryo is not satisfied with himself T__T "It was good, eh, it's just that I couldn't put it into words."
Next, it's Subaru vs. curry rice! "Kwaaaaaaaaahh! Here it iiiiiiiiiiiis! I take my hat off at this! Take at look at this, it's this feeling... It looks so spicy!" (and Shingo: "Usually one would say 'it looks so tasty'!" XDD)
"Itadakimaaaaaasu! Hm! Waaaah! *at a loss for words* Waaaaaaah!! *pause again* Waaah..." As expected, Subaru starts all hyper and then doesn't conclude... ^^
It's Maru's turn, he challenges a steak. (I thought he would get the shortcake, but it looks like he's on a diet...) "I get a feeling like I've just come to France. Yes, yes, France... (Shingo:"You're getting it wrong!") How nice... (Shingo: "You're dropping the corn!" Shingo, mind your own business XD) (Subaru: "They'll never drop you from 'Everyday!'")

"Itadakimasu. Uuuh, I have no words for this! It set fire to my appetite! This is really the eat-eat murder case of the steak!" After the end of his turn, Maru explains: he meant that it's too delicious that he'd continue to eat, and eat, and eat even after his stomach is full, and he'd die. XD
The fifth is Shota, who will eat the strawberry shortcake. "Mr.cameraman, please look at this! It's a shortcake! I think I want to put my fork into it. Cake tounyuu!" (He wants to say "nyuutou" which means "to insert the knife", "penetrating" in a NON sexual meaning, but he mistakes the order of the kanji XD Tounyuu means soy milk XDD While Shota eats they make all kind of remarks as if the cake was stabbed to death which is very funny XD)
"This is really... shortcake's... masquerade!" Kikomaro praised the fact that after putting it into his mouth, he dropped the fork on the plate, making it go "dlinn".
Last, it's Yokocho's turn! He will face takoyaki! "Mr. cameraman, please look at this! Takoyaki! I think I will eat them." Yoko blows air on the steaming hot takoyaki, like a child, while everyone goes "hot, hot!" XD His face while he eats the hot takoyaki needs no comment.
Yoko: "Ah!"
Everyone: "Ah!"
Yoko: "This is really!"
Everyone: "Really!"
Yoko: "Oosaka's..."
Everyone: "Oosaka's?"
Everyone's incredulous, I am DYING. And to be forgiven he makes this face, causing me to die of laughter all the more:

After ending, he pouts: "I won't do this anymore!" XD
Aaaand, it's over.

My thoughts:
1. I feel that this episode ended in a different direction than where it started from, but it was fun nevertheless.
2. Does anybody else wish that sometimes Shingo was not the host, so we could enjoy him doing the things the other 6 do? ;__; but on the other hand, he's suck a skilled host... He was amazing in this episode. His little comments, his face expressions... marry me? Please? ^^
3. They were dressed rather decently but Shingo! What's with the decoration of your t-shirt? Did a blind ex-80's popstar design it? XD
4. Why do they have "Blitzkrieg Bop" as the bgm music for the opening XDDD It makes no sense XDD
5. Please Ookura STOP wearing caps that make you look hotter than you already are (and btw I can really see him end like Kikomaro-san in 10 years, making gourmet tv shows and 20 kg fatter XD). AND I WILL NOT COMMENT ON OOKURA TADAYOSHI-KUN SUCKING EATING EBIFRY. I will, however, screencap it:

Please proceed to lust. (Yes I am still sure he's straight, but these things are... just... too... much... *nosebleeds and faints*)

Did you enjoy? Did you dislike the way I insert my comments everywhere? Please discuss in the comments ^___^ Aaaaaand... Benkyou ni narimashita! XD
Tags: tv: janiben

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